When it's over, it's over!!!

Okay a little post about my divorce.

If I were to have my way, we would be divorced by now. We would have a set schedule that was open to some flexibility with the kids, and we could all move on and live our separate but happy lives.
However, things are not happening to my liking. I am trying to be calm about it and just focus on the kids, but it IS frustrating. I am frustrated.
Once the child support amount was set Brian turned into a unreasonable person. He has since gotten another lawyer, and wants to "fight this". However, nothing is happening with him and his lawyer. I ask him 2x/week what his lawyer said, and what is the next step, and he keeps telling me that either a)Brian is busy or b) the lawyer hasn't gotten back in touch with him. I have contacted my lawyer too, and plan to procede on my own with the divorce. However, this will mean the divorce is contested and we will have a hearing which equals A LOT more money on both of our parts. GRRRR! So, I have been trying to get Brian to either tell me he wants to take it to hearing to fight the child support (his only disagreement in the entire paperwork that was drawn up), or that he compromises with me, and we just file together. He is just shuffling his feet and it is so frustrating. And the child support is figured out with a standard formula so that probably wouldn't change anyway. The only way it will change is if Brian fights for joint custody and gets it. This is ridiculous and scary to me at the same time. I won't go into big details about that, but that is pretty much one of my worst nightmares....if it could happen. Seeing as how he lives with his parents and never takes them overnight, etc.... I doubt a judge would rule things that way, but who knows.
Now the other frustration is how present he is in OUR lives. I understand he wants to be part of their lives, but I wish it could be more separate of mine! He wants to come over several evenings a week to just hang out and then read a couple bedtime stories to Z. I let him come over for the kids' sake, but I hate having him here all the time. I know maybe I should tell him not to, but I guess I decide I can suffer a little for the kids' happiness.
He also wants to do things still as a family and that is not in my agenda. I see my family now as the THREE of us, and he isn't included anymore in MY family. He is my kid's dad, but I want to do family things without him.
He often asks if he can do things with us. I try to avoid the topic or make excuses. This week was bad. He knew I was taking the kids to the zoo for ZooBoo. I was very excited about doing this with my kids. 3 minutes before I arrive at the zoo, he calls me. He informs me that HE is at the zoo, and wants to know if he can walk around with us. UGH!!!!!! WTF? Of course I let him. However, it was awkward and uncomfortable.....but slightly helpful I admit to have an extra pair of eyes and hands.
Then on Halloween he wants to go trick or treating with us. I let him of course, but what I didn't count on was his parents joining us too!! Seriously!! He told me they were coming over and taking some pictures and then leaving. Of course that was a lie. They came over and went with us to EVERY house. And it gets better. His mom was wearing a sweatshirt that had a picture of a goofy little boy, and underneath it read, "Proud grandmother of Zayden". LOL!! It is a little funny looking back now, but last night I was pissed. Oh and it still gets better. His mom has a sore leg so after the 3rd house, she went back to get her bright red suv, and then drove along the street beside us throughout the entire neighborhood, parking or pausing in the street in front of each house the kids went to!! This was NOT my idea of a fun time trick or treating as a family.
I did try to not let it get to me though, and I just focused on the kids last night, and enjoyed our evening despite the weirdness. But GEEZ!! And I know I should be grateful that my kids have such involved grandparents....but can't they be really involved on Brian's watch and not mine.

Now today we are getting ready to go to the park to have pictures taken. I did NOT tell Brian about this. However, he has already texted me asking if we are doing anything fun. I refused to text back. I'm afraid if I even tell him we are going to a park, he will start searching the parks for us. ugh!!!

There is lot more I could go on about, but it is picture time!!! :D