Thursday Gratitudes!

I feel the need to write down my gratitudes on my darkest days.

1. I am grateful beyond words for the health of my children!
2. I am grateful that when I slid on the ice today while driving with my kids, that all I hit was a stop sign.
3. I am grateful that I will be able to celebrate this Christmas with my family without worrying about anything "major".
4. I am grateful to be part of the Dante's Village Troops!
5. I am so grateful that I have had a chance to "know" the AMAZING Dante!

Please Pray for a Christmas Miracle

Dante may be dying! He may not make it to Christmas! Please please please pray for him and his family!

Santa Funnies!

It's really all about Santa these days!

This morning I had to wake Zayden from a sound sleep. Once I went in his room and let some light shine in, he sat up abruptly and with wide eyes asked loudly, "Where's Santa?"

While driving him to my in-laws today he looked out the window and said, "I see Santa!" I asked, "What is he doing?" and Zayden replied, "He's riding a reindeer!"

She's got the look!

Ivy has a million expressions now, and I LOVE them all!! I LOVE this age!! This is the age, that makes me want to have 10 more kids......if only I were 10 years younger and Brian was interested in that too! ;) Here are a few pictures taken in the last 3-4 days!

Sucking on her upper lip:

Little princess:

Pondering life:

Surprise!!! :

Blowing raspberries:

Thrilled to go see santa in goofy hat:

Do I have something in my teeth??

Happy, but probably scheming something!:

Santa's little helper:

Ivy's new thing is to make "fart" sounds all the time:

This is the look that surely will keep her wrapped around daddy's finger for years to come!:

Peek a boo! :

Having a rolly good time:

Ahoy Santa!

We had a very nice weekend, which started on Friday for us, since we were all off work! We went to go see Santa. We asked Zayden if he wanted to wear "normal" shoes, and a santa hat, but he insisted on his norm. I am happy he wore the norm, because right now Zayden is my little quirky pirate and I love that! This is a picture we took. The one we actually bought Ivy is smiling really big, and Z is staring at the camera with a serious "pirate" look! ;)



After meeting Santa we stopped in a book store, and then went to lunch! Good thing for napkin bibs while eating spaghetti! (By the way did you notice he changed his hat?)

And the napkin bib wasn't enough of an embarassment to Zayden, so I had to have his sister wear a matching hat!

Later that night, David, a kid I work with came over for a few hours to play! Zayden loved playing with David, especially when David agreed to play "dress up" in capes with him!

Saturday we played at home during the day, so Z had to play dress up alone!

Saturday night, grandma and grandpa came to watch the kids so Brian and I could have a date! We had a great time! And grandma and grandpa appreciated the matching Christmas pajamas!

Sunday was just a lazy day!

Just a brother sister moment I don't want to forget!

Zayden grabbed Ivy, hugged her and said to her, "You are my best favorite!"

Flying to the moon!

Zayden and I had the greatest conversation last night when I picked him up after work. We only had a 10 minute drive, but we talked the entire way home about the moon! I have a good memory, but it's not perfect so I will try to recall this conversation, but I'm sure it's not exact as the conversation went on and on and on, and many things were repeated 10 times (in typical toddler fashion). However here is how I remember it:

Me: Zayden do you see the moon?
Z: No! Where is the moon?
Me: It's up in the sky...I can see it already. (It was full or nearly full)
Z: I see it! Now I see it!
Z: Do you see the moon?
Me: No I don't see it. (I turned the car and couldn't see it from my view anymore)
Z: Do you see it?
Me: No, I can't see it right now.
Z: Yes, you see it, Yes you see it!
Me: Sorry, I can't see it.
Z: Yes you see it. It's right there by the clouds.
Me: Okay now I see it. (after craning my neck way around and bending over, while dodging traffic)
Z: Can I fix the moon?
Me: Fix it?
Z: With some tape?
Me: You want to fix the moon?
Z: Yes
Me: How are you going to fix the moon?
Z: I am going to help it?
Me: What are you going to help the moon do?
Z: *long pause* I am going to help the moon get home.
Me: Where is the moon's home?
Z: *long pause* In a tree
Me: You want to help the moon get home to a tree?
Z: Yes!
Me: How are you going to do that?
Z: I am going to fly to the moon!
Z: I can fly!
Me: You can fly?
Z: Yes, I can fly!
Z: I have wings!
Me: That's cool!
Z: I am batman!
Me: You are batman, and you can fly to the moon?
Z: Yes, I can fly. I'm batman!
Z: Can I jump out of the car?
Me: No you can't right now.
Z: Can I jump out of the car and fly to the moon.
Me: No, we are in the street, and there are cars, so you can't jump out. We are almost home.
Z: I'm batman. Can I jump out of the car?
Me: In just a minute.

We arrived home, and I got Zayden out of the car. I showed him the moon, and told him he can fly there now. He smiled looked up at it, and then squatted down really low. He sat there hunched down for a few seconds and then sprung up quickly with his hands above his head and jumped about 1/4 of a centimeter (He isn't a good jumper yet!).

I told him that was great, but we needed to go inside now because it was cold, and Z said in his santa/pirate voice "I'm batman" with a very serious look on his face, and then ran inside smiling!

When we got inside we both kept pretending to fly to the moon while Ivy laughed and laughed at us, like she was watching the best comedy of her life. I seriously had not ever heard her laugh so much!!

I'm so glad Z brings so much humor to our lives! :)

It's just how you look at it!

There are so many moments when I don't know whether to laugh or cry, since having children! Often Zayden does something he shouldn't and I struggle to not laugh. Other times he does something he REALLY shouldn't, and I find myself getting very angry but later laughing about it!
We had one of those moments this morning, while we were running late to get out of the door, so I could get them to their grandparents and get me to my first appointment for work. Our Christmas tree is up, and Zayden is having a difficult time not messing with it. He HAD been very good, and only maybe touches or grabs an ornament once a day. He even told Brian last night when he got home, "Don't touch the ornaments!" However, I know this is difficult for Zayden because many of the ornaments look like fun "guys". I gave him a couple ornaments/guys, but I think he wants them all!
This morning Ivy oddly slept in later than Zayden, so when she woke up I left Zayden alone for a few seconds while I went to get sleeping beauty. I think Zayden saw this as his opportunity. I had just placed Ivy on the changing table, when I heard it.....the crash.....the crash that still is echoing in my head!
I grabbed Ivy and ran out into the living room, and there was Zayden looking frightened standing between the wall and where the tree used to be, holding one snowman ornament.

In that moment I was very angry. I immediately put Ivy down, and put Zayden in timeout and said something really mean, "You broke the Christmas tree. Now Santa doesn't have anywhere to put your presents." I now feel bad for saying that, as it probably crushed the poor little guy and it was just an accident. However, when I saw ornaments thrown all over the living room and had to step over broken glass to just get to Zayden I was pretty angry.

His time out (which is also a time out for me) gave me time to calm down, and I was able to hug him afterwards and tell him I love him, but remind him why he shouldn't touch the tree or ornaments.

Now that it has been a couple of hours since the incident I am already picturing it and laughing. I actually can't wait to tell this story to others, as it really is kind of funny! The image of little Z standing up against the wall with that one snowman in his hand, while the tree was on it's side and ornaments and glass were all over will be with me always, and I think it will always make me smile!

I think the best way of getting through toddlerhood is just altering how you look at things. If I can try to find the innocence and humor I think we will be okay!!

Zayden Funnies

Today Zayden was eating Spaghetti for lunch, and found a mushroom. He picked it out, and said, "There's a mustache on this one (noodle). It's really gross!"

Zayden who is all about pretend play is starting to role play more. He likes to pretend that he is either a pirate or Santa. When he is pirate he changes his voice to this deep husky voice and declares that he is going to "take the baby" and comes and tries to pick up Ivy. I sometimes help him, and he laughs and tries to run away with her.

When he is Santa, he also changes his voice, and to my amusement it is the same voice as his pirate voice. When he is santa, he talks all about living in the north pole and making bat man toys, and he brings presents to anyone around, while ho ho hoing. He also sings a great "jingle bells" in that santa/pirate voice. ;)

Zayden has been hitting lately, but mostly when he gets excited. It's like he doesn't know what to do with himself when he gets really riled up and he just hits whoever is right beside him. So last night I had a long talk with him about how he needed to do other things when he got excited like giving high fives, clapping, and raising his hands in the air and cheering. We practiced all of this over and over. I would say, "If you are excited then do this", and I would cheer and throw my hands in the air or clap or something, and he would immitate me. We practiced this for a few mintues, and then I said, "Okay Zayden you are all excited now" as I was bouncing him on my lap, "Now what do you do?" He smiled and punched me in the face.
Okay, he didn't technically punch me in the face, but that made the story funnier. Actually he did the motions of punching me in the face, but stopped when his fist was about a centimeter away from making contact. He is such a little stinker!!

Ivy the Incredible

Ivy and I had a great time in Florida! Ivy was just amazing! She was fantastic on the plane both there and back. Others commented on both flights how great she was! Luckily I flew Southwest, and they don't have assinged seating. We got to get on the plane before many of the passengers, and NO one wanted to sit with us. It was funny, how people would see 2 empty seats in our row, and start to sit down or put their bags up, and then they'd take one look of the scary little baby and keep on walking for another seat!! So, both flights we had the whole row to ourselves, and that was GREAT! Little did they know that Ivy was an angel on both flights!! What do you think.....would this scare you if you were boarding a plane?





The main reason we went was to see my Oma (Ivy's great Oma), who will be 84 next week. Oma fell completely in love with Ivy as did the rest of my Floridian family (Dad, step-mom, uncle and aunt). Ivy was SOOOO good the whole time we were there. Everyone kept commenting all weekend on how happy Ivy was. They said they'd never seen a happier baby!! Ivy is always a happy baby, but she was especially happy this weekend, and I think it was because she was getting so much undivided attention! Ivy seemed to just cherish all the attention I was giving her while we were gone. I really enjoyed it too!! AND on top of that she slept really good in this run down borrowed pack n play without any complaints or tears!

Oma was SO in love with Ivy!!

We went to lunch one day to my favorite restaurant on the beach, and I took Ivy out to the Ocean (actually the gulf), and stuck Ivy's little baby toes in the water and in the sand! She seemed to enjoy it!!

This is my dad and his wife with Ivy!

And here is another pic of just Ivy that I liked! She enjoyed looking out Oma's huge window from her 3rd floor Condo!

Zayden and Brian also had a good time this weekend, and Zayden did okay without me! I missed him very much, but I am SOOO glad that Ivy and I went! Zayden like a good son did ask about me very often!! :) Saturday night he woke up in the middle of the night crying for me, and Brian took him to bed with him! (Same time Ivy was sleeping with me!....she'd wake up to nurse, and I'd nurse her in my bed, and we'd cosleep the rest of the night). So we were a co-sleeping family this weekend 1000 miles away from each other!

Oh, and I forgot to add: Here is a cute video of Ivy and my uncle Gerry. He is singing a very popular german kids song that my dad used to sing to us, while he bounced us on his chest! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VU-oEPlrNg

I want Ivy to read to me!!

Most nights we let Zayden decide who is going to read him his bedtime stories. A few nights ago Zayden decided that without a doubt he wanted IVY to read to him! He was not going to bend on this, so we let Ivy read to him....kind of! ;)

I took a video, and I think it is so cute!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iUE8BKpUVs

There's a first for everything!

Tomorrow Ivy and I leave for Florida! We will be gone just until Sunday night! I really am excited to see my family in florida and show off my wonderful baby girl! I also look forward to the time with Ivy for her and I to bond. This will be Ivy's first flight and first time she and I are alone together for more than a few hours.

However, there is this other part of me that is really nervous and in a slight way dreading the trip. :( Saturday will officially be the first day in Zayden's life that I will not see him at all during the day. I have been away from him a total of 3 nights, but I have never gone a day without seeing him. This freaks me out a little. And what freaks me out even more is that I will be about 1000 miles away from him. Ugh!! I just love my little Z man soooo much, and I will miss him! However, I am sure he will be fine, and I am going to try to focus on having a great time in Florida!!

I'll just make up for lost time soon as I get home! Proof we are so close is that tonight we had this conversation:

Me: I Love you so much!
Z: I love you so much!
Me: I love you more!
Z: I love you more!
Me: I love you more!
Z: I love Spider man more!

THIS is my favorite time of the year!!

This really has always been my favorite time of the year! I love the holidays and especially Christmas, but now that I have children it is just that much sweeter! Zayden is over the moon excited about Christmas and Santa! His guys have been replaced with 2 santas, a snowman, and a reindeer. I put up decorations and our tree yesterday and Zayden was ecstatic! He loved the tree, and loved playing with Santa. He wanted a sleigh for santa, so I found him a small box that he used as a sleigh, and then found tiny presents from a Christmas decoration thing I don't like and let him play with those. He literally played with the santa, presents, box/sleigh, and a reindeer for hours yesterday! It was so darn cute. Santa was bringing presents to everyone...Brian, Ivy, spiderman, etc.. :) This morning he woke up wanting to play with santa more, and has replaced wearing his pirate hat with a santa hat, and is constantly saying "ho ho ho".

He talks about wanting santa to bring him bat man toys all day long....and bring Ivy baby toys. He talks about Santa being at the north pole also. It is just so darn cute. I hope he keeps this enthusiasm going all month! I think this Christmas is going to be so awesome!!!

And, you know those e-mails that ask you all your favorite things like favorite time of year, favorite color, favorite sound, etc... I never knew how to answer the favorite sound one until now! This is my favorite sound! I am just happy Ivy let me record a moment of it. Usually this magical sound stops soon as I reach for the camera!

And I did not mean my annoying "googoogoo" voice!! That would be on my list for most annoying sounds! ;) I also liked how in the video Ivy did a fake laugh towards the end, and grabbed the camera cord trying to take the camera from me....something she and her brother always do.....they are so tired of the mamarazzi!
I still don't really know what my favorite smell would be! ;)

Thanksgiving Day Pictures

We went to my in-laws for Thanksgiving yesterday, and had a great time. My brother and his family were there as well! We all had a really nice time, and WAY too much to eat!!


Ivy showing off her Thanksgiving day duds:


Ivy with her proud uncle Mike (my brother):

Zayden tackling his cousin Christian:

Now Christian tackling Zayden when he saw I had a camera:

Ivy and her aunt Robin (my brother's wife)

Zayden stuffing his face:

Ivy Stuffing her face:

Ivy and her cousin Madison:

Grandpa with his Princess, Ivy!:

Here is Zayden and Madison enjoying a laugh while watching Goofy cartoons in grandma's bed! Zayden LOVES his cousins!!!! And they are awesome with him!:

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for:

* Ivy
* Zayden
* Brian
* My Children are healthy
* My children are happy!
* Ivy is going to sleep much better, and staying asleep a little better! ;)
* Zayden's very quirky personality....I love THIS sooo much!
* Brian passed his HUGE mechanics test after 5 years of school, that he took last week!
* I have a job that I love!
* The kids I work with (and their parents) are like family to me.
* I have a roof over my head
* I always have plenty to eat!
* Obama will be our next president!
* My brother Mike....with all the crazies in my family, I treasure our bond!! He is awesome!
* My in-laws involvement with my children. They are wonderful grandparents!
* The ability to vacation
* Oma
* All my wonderful friends that I know will always have my back!
* All the experiences I have lived through
* That I have family to spend Thanksgiving with
* This blog
* My on-line "friends", specifically ivillage girls
* My dog Kramer (most days)
* My wonderful nieces Kailee and Madison, and nephew Christian!
* The relationship I have with my nieces and nephew
* My ability to laugh during stressful moments
* My ability to function on very little sleep!
* Christmas time!
* Zayden and Ivy's smiles and laughter
* Hugs from Zayden
* Having my hand held by Ivy
* My health

I really could go on and on and on, but I need to go start getting ready for our thanksgiving day meal!! I am VERY blessed, and grateful for all that I have!!

Picture Time!!

Here is the unsuspecting Ivy looking adorable:

Here is Ivy after Z "accidentally" threw a toy train at her, and hit her right below her left eye:

And a close up, so she can use this as blackmail some day!:

Here is Ivy playing with her toes and trying to console herself:

Here is Z trying to make up with her:

Here is Zayden being taught by his girlfriend Gabby how to play "prince and princess":

Here are the guys! (In order from from favorite to least favorite):

Here is Ivy with Spiderman:

And here is Ivy with basketball guy:

And here they are playing guys together:

Zayden Funnies

A few funnies that I can actually remember:

Last night I was getting Ivy ready for bed, and Zayden ran in the room with a drumstick in his hand, raised the drumstick as high as he could and announced, "I saved the day all week!"

2 nights ago Zayden was looking around the living room, and asked, "Where is my ice pop?" I said, "Ice pop? I'm sorry, but I don't know what you are talking about!" and then Zayden looked at me angrily and said, "I KNOW what I am talking about! I am talking about a ICE POP!!" (still don't know what he was talking about!)

Zayden has been really good about sharing his guys with Ivy...maybe because he is desperate for playmates. He often hands her spiderman, and that itself is funny. Ivy takes spiderman happily and then bounces his around, because her arms are always waving, and Z thinks she really is playing "guys" with him. It's awesome....I need to get a video. Anyway, today when he handed Ivy spiderman, he said sternly to her, "Now don't throw him. He's a good guy!"

Zayden has had to get drops for pink eye the last few days and last night he asked for pretzel sticks. I got them for him, and before he ate each one he would run to me. Tell me, "I have to put drops in YOUR eyes" He'd then poke me in each eye with the pretzel stick as I squeezed my eyes shut, and then as he would then eat his pretzel say, "You are all better now!" Sweet Revenge!

Zayden waking up!

Zayden always says the craziest things when he wakes up and I go in his room to get him. I keep thinking I need to write these down, but I forget. I am guessing all these crazy thoughts come from his dreams.
Normally he talks about some animal or person we hadn't seen for awhile! It's always fun to go get him and see what the first thing he will say. I am going to try to remember to document some of these here.
This morning, I had to wake him up, and when he saw me he jumped up and said, "I want to get out! It's raining in here!"

Well that was not very ladylike!!

Ivy had not pooped since Saturday morning. Last night I was googling this non-pooping thing, because I was really nervous. Z never went more than a few hours it seemed as a baby without pooping. Apparently though it can be very normal for a breastfed baby. Who knew?

This morning, I was getting ready for work and Ivy was beside me in her little bouncy seat. Suddenly I heard this loud expoding sound coming from my sweet little girl! I look down at her and she is staring up at me, eyes all wide and watery looking very alarmed. This LOUD exploding sound lasted it seemed a good 10 seconds, while Ivy and I just locked eyes and stared at each other in shock. Her whole body seemed to be shaking (and the bouncy wasn't even on). Finally it ended, and she shuddered. I immediately started laughing, and Ivy joined in and laughed and laughed, and then had a permanent smile on her face as I changed that very full diaper!

I only wish I could have had this videotaped. It was THAT comical! If I could have sent that to Adam Sandler or the Farley Brothers I am SURE it somehow would have showed up in their next movie!

Twenty-six and Four!

I want to remember my children's great LOVES and interests. Right now they are 26 months and 4 months!

Zayden Loves:

To play with his Guys! He has 4 that he plays with all the time. They are all action figures about 4-6 inches tall. He has spider man which was a gift from our neighbor Laura. There is Shaggy that he adopted once when we went over to his cousins house (Christian and Madison). Then he found 2 other guys at my in-laws lake house this past summer who we call basketball guy (because he is holding a flaming basketball), and Jake the snake (a wrestler). They are kind of a mismatch of characters, but Zayden loves to play with them all the time. He loves to have them talk and talk and talk and wrestle a little. ;)

His Pirate hat! Thank you Alina! He wears his pirate hat most of the day!

His green rainboots! He pretty much only takes these off to sleep. I bought these for him months ago, and I remember Brian thinking they were a silly thing to waste money on. Z wasn't that interested in them at first. I put him in them for some pictures, and they were kind of forgotten. Well something changed a couple months ago, and now they are Z's Prized possession!! I can't think of the last time we left the house and he was wearing regular shoes. At first when we would go to the store, park, or someones house, I would be laughing inside waiting for the comments that always come about the cute boots he's wearing or I would be watching for and seeing the smiles and laughter of people that saw him when we walked by. Now, I am so accustomed to the boots I always stare at people confused when they look at Z and laugh or smile. It takes me a minute to figure out what is so funny! And then when they make those comments, I have to glance down at his feet as my reminder that "oh yeah, he does have big green boots on!" We are even at a point now, when we are getting ready to leave the house I TELL Zayden to go put his boots on, if they aren't already on. I have learned that it is pointless to try to have him wear anything else, as he will only throw a fit, and I want him to be HIM anyway! I'm not going to stifle my boot loving boy!

The movie Lion King

To wrestle and play tackle!

His friends Fintan and Gabby (top 2 faves right now)

Pirates

The book "You can Do anything daddy" and the book "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas!"

Singing Songs

The Wiggles DVD "Pop Goes the Wiggles"

His Pawpaw

Roaring at people/kids to try to scare them

Changing his voice to sound scary!

Being outside!

Playing the drums (pretend)

Raisins/Craisins/Dried Fruit

Crackers/pretzels/bread

The Zoo, the children's museum, the park and going to friends' homes!



And Ivy Loves:

Nursing! ;)

Sucking on anything

Her pacifiers

Having her neck tickled

Being talked to in a cutesy voice

Her preschool tummy time toy (but not while on her tummy! ;))

Being worn by mommy

Sitting in my lap and staring at Zayden while he eats!

Someone smiling at her!

Mornings!!

Someone coming into get her out of her crib when she wakes up!

Being sung to!

Gratitudes for today

1. My small family and Brian's small family get along so well, and we celebrate the holidays all together. My brother and his family are invited to my in-laws for Thanksgiving, and as always my in-laws will be going to my brother's on Christmas Eve.
2. Ivy is a very happy baby!
3. Today Zayden told me I was the funniest person he knew (and Ivy was the cutest)!
4. Zayden is SO easy to buy gifts for Christmas this year!
5. 2 weeks from today I will be in Florida probably eating a late breakfast with Oma!

Forever mobile

Tonight it's like it finally clicked that she could get from one place to another all by herself. I think she rolled over both ways (belly to back and back to belly) about 50 times tonight. She just kept rolling and rolling and rolling. I couldn't keep her on a blanket.

Life will never be the same. My baby is now forever mobile!!

Love this picture!!

H-A-I-R
Originally uploaded by zayden8

This just makes me laugh and laugh and laugh!

Tonight I was throwing Zayden up in the air to make him laugh, and in return I got a picture that will make me laugh for years!!

She's perfect!

I know not any baby/child is perfect, but every mother likes to think that their child(ren) are perfect. My kids are perfect in my eyes! I wouldn't change a thing about them!

Even though I think my kids are perfect, I know not everyone else does, and that's fine. However, it sure is wonderful to hear your child's pediatrician state "she's perfect" while examining your baby! I don't know that there are much better words to come out of a pediatrician's mouth honestly!

Ivy had her 4 month doctor's appointment today, but technically isn't 4 months old until tomorrow. Everything looked "perfect". She is growing like a weed. She is now 26 inches long (95%) and weighs 14 pounds 10 oz (90%). I wonder if she'll stay tall and big, or turn into a little pipsqueak like Z did after he turned one.

Oh, and one of the greatest statements a pediatrician can say to a tired mother who can't shed all the baby weight from 2 pregnancies now is: "Were you an athlete?". LOL! She has asked me the last 2 appointments now. The doctor is just so amazed I guess by how strong little Ivy is, so she has now asked me at this appointment and the last one if either myself or husband were athletes! Gosh, I should go see her more often when I'm feeling down! ;) She also asked today if Zayden had such great muscle tone and strength at this age, and I told her that he sure did, and reminded her how early he walked (8 months). :) However, I have other plans for Ivy. She can't walk until she is one. I want her to be my baby for awhile longer!!!

Oh, and the other reason that makes me believe Ivy is perfect, is that this girl is now doing the most unbelievable and unheard of (at least in this house) feat! For the last FIVE times I have laid Ivy down to go to sleep, I have been able to do this while she was awake!! Yes, you heard that right AWAKE! I give her her pacifier, lay her on her side, have the room dark, have the white noise going, cover her with a blanket, and within minutes she is asleep!! If someone else was watching her and told me this I wouldn't believe it. I have seen her do it and I still can't believe she is doing this!! I am sure it won't last....nothing with her sleep does, but right now this is just another perfect little thing about her!! And last night she only woke up 4x. She's slowly sleeping better and better! :) I love my Ivy!! :)

I needed That!!

A good friend of mine from college has a birthday today, and she wanted Brian and I to join her and a group of our mutual friends out for dinner last night. We tried to get a sitter, but my in-laws were busy. I almost didn't go, but then decided that I should just go alone and let Brian stay home with the kids! He's gone out a few times without me since Ivy has been born, so why not!
This was the first time for Brian to put both kids to bed by himself, but it went very well! So well, that I actually have already made plans again for this coming Friday night (to go to a nieces play), and he'll get to do it again! :)
Anyway, we met for dinner last night at a great little family owned Italian restaurant. There were 9 of us altogether, and it was so great to hang out with these friends. This group of friends is a group that I hung out with ALL the time prior to getting married and having kids. I went to college with 3 of the girls, and they are all married, so their husbands were there. One of the husbands' bff, Hooper, is always part of the group too. Hooper is single, but has always been Mr. Party or Mr. Entertainer. He has a party for pretty much every occasion you can think of. Anyway we all live on the same side of town, and I have been friends with these guys for over 10 years....my girlfriends have been with their husbands for that long....Brian entered our group late (a little over 5 years ago)! :)
So, like 6-7 years ago I saw this group of friends like a couple times/week. Now, I see them all like 2x/year maybe. Sucks how some things change. I love my life now, but I have missed much of the social life I did once have! 2 of the girls, (Susan and Kristy) I still see fairly often, but only because we have kids close in age that can play together!
Last night we were at the restaurant for about 3 hours. I had a great dinner and one GREAT glass of red wine. I haven't had a glass of wine for over a year, so that tasted sooo nice! But mostly I just loved the company. I hadn't laughed so much in forever it seems! This is my "party" group....the people to hang out with when you don't want to talk about anything serious. All we did (and always do) is just joke around and talk about crazy stuff all night.
When I left last night, and went to the register to pay, the guy who took my card, said to me, "You guys sure were having a lot of fun tonight!" and then another guy came up and said, "Whenever I hear a group laughing THAT much, I just want to join in! I felt bad I was missing out on all the fun!" When they said that to me that's when it sunk it how lucky I was to have such a fun night with no worries and just laughter!
I really really really need to do this more often! As much as I LOVE being a mom, and as much as it is by far the best thing I have ever done, I miss other pieces of my life that are missing now. I want some of my old life back. That's not so bad is it? My 2 favorite people in the whole world to hang out with are my 2 kiddos, but it sure is fun to hang out with old friends sometimes too!
Today I feel rejuvenated and hopefully that makes me a better mom!!

Zayden Funnies

1. The other day I took the kids to the indoor park. On the way there Zayden was telling me how he wanted to scare the other kids. When we got to the park, Zayden kind of stayed near the entrance. Whenever a new kid would walk in the door Z would yell "boo" or he would roar at them! This went on for a good 20-30 min.

2. Zayden has this odd fear of Walruses. I think it is because the Walrus at our Zoo is in a dark isolated place, and he swims right up to this big glass window. Anyway he always talks about the walrus (sometimes tigers too.... I always have to go with him to his bedroom if it is dark, because apparently there is a tiger back there or so he says). So today we were playing with his "guys", and I put one in a bus, and said, "C'mon everyone get in the bus", and Z said "No we don't...there are 2 walruses in there!" Just the fear of walruses itself cracks me up!! I can't wait to tell him about this someday!!

3. Also today Brian and I were talking, and Brian was confused about something and said, "what?". Z then said, "What the heck?" We had never heard that from him and both Brian and I looked away and hid our faces as we were both silently laughing. I think Zayden could tell we were laughing and then on cue Z laughed and said, "What are we going to do with this kid?"

Now tell me how is this scary??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDg7kWgs5e0

Thursday Gratitudes

1. I am grateful for my education
2. I am grateful that gas is cheaper right now than it has been in a long time.
3. I am grateful to have a work computer
4. I am grateful that Ivy only woke up like 5x last night (yes this is a huge improvement!)
5. I am grateful that Zayden can communicate his needs to me!

Zayden is trying to get back on the mama-train!

Ever since I posted "mean mommy" Zayden has decided to show me that he still may have a little "mama's boy" in him!
This morning when I left for work, leaving him and Ivy with their day, he announced, "I am going to work too.", and then looked back at Brian, waved, and said "bye!".
He then followed me to the gate and kept saying "I want to go with you!". It was sad, but part of me was so happy he wanted me. When I walked out and shut the door I heard him crying. It was bitter sweet.
Then today, when I got home I hugged him and told him I missed him, and he told me he missed me too. Tonight I read him his bedtime stories, and afterwards as I was putting him in bed he smiled and me and said, "I DID miss you!" I said, "You did miss me?" and he said, "yeah, I did miss you!"
It was soooo sweet!! I know my little guy loves me, but my insecurity with being a good enough mom to my two just got to me the other day!! I'm happy things seem back to "normal" for us right now!! And I am never EVER going to complain about Z being clingy towards me again....never!!! :)

Praying for Dante!!!

Most of you who read my blog know all about Dante, but please please keep him and his family in your prayers today!! He is going to start a very intense difficult treatment today, which some experts feel may be too much for him.
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers today!!!!

Chatterbox!

I just love how much Z talks, and how the different thoughts just come flying out so quickly. Just now as we went into the kitchen for breakfast he said all within like 3 seconds without me getting a word in:
"Where are my boots? I want my boots. There are my boots. Take them on me. I won't hit Kramer. Where is Kramer. There he is. I found him. I want a banana!"
He cracks me up!!

And a small update to mean mommy:

Yesterday I went to lay down for a minute after spending the past like 72 hours with him, and he started crying and crying. I came out and he kept saying, "I want to go with you mommy!" It made me feel good to have my old Z again....maybe he read my post and felt bad! ;)

Mean Mommy

Lately I feel like I am "mean mommy" in Zayden's eyes and I don't like that at all!! Zayden and I had the greatest bond ever for most of his life. We have always been really close, and I was always his favorite person. Not only was I the one to do most of his caretaking, but I also played with him all day, and was his partner in silliness!

Now with Ivy here I feel like things have shifted, and I'm not liking it. I LOVE having Ivy in our family, but I don't like the change between me and Zayden! When I am home so much of my day is taking care of Ivy (nursing, changing, getting to sleep, holding so she doesn't cry, etc...), and I don't get to play with Zayden nearly as much as I did before! He is obviously acting out because of this, and then I end up having to spend a lot of time putting him in time out or telling him "no", and "stop" and "don't do that", etc.... When Ivy is napping I try to focus all my attention on Z and then his behavior is great....no problems at all! So I know it's an attention thing!

Anyway, I don't like being mean mommy to him most of the day even though I try so hard to praise him on the good things he does and include him with Ivy. The reason I know things have shifted is that when I pick him up from my in-laws house on the days I work he doesn't want to go home with me. He'd rather stay and play with them. My Mother-in-law told me that someone is always playing with him there while the other is with Ivy. And in the evenings, Ivy nurses so much still, so Brian does most of Zayden's nightly routines with him or plays with him. So, I just feel Zayden moving away from me. The last 2 nights Zayden even asked for Brian to read to him instead of me....which is soooo unlike him! He always has been a mommy's boy! I think it's great that he is feeling closer to his grandparents and his dad...I really do!! However, I can't help but think that he just now sees me as mean mommy. :(

Oh and one more heartbreaking thing....when I tell him I love him, he doesn't always say it back. He used to always say it back to me, and now he sometimes will smile and look away. I'll say it 5 times, and he won't say it back to me. I know he is 2, and I shouldn't let that get to me, but it does!! It makes me sad every time!!

What a night!!!!

That Ivy! She isn't even a teenager, and she is already giving me the most incredible sleepless nights!! Her personality is already shining through! This girl has got places to go and things to see, and there is nothing going to hold her back!!

I know I have mentioned her rolling and her poor sleeping here before. The ONLY way I have ever been able to get her to sleep though is swaddled. She HAS to be swaddled. Well yesterday morning I found her in her crib swaddled, and on her belly! EEK!! That just scares me so much, for her to be on her belly with her arms trapped by her side, but she is just not a kid to sit still! I thought about possibly being able to still swaddle her, if I used a sleep positioner to keep her in place, but then I remembered who I was thinking of....this won't work for my little break dancer! She scoots everywhere and somehow manages to fling herself when scooting doesn't work. A few weeks ago she flung herself out of her bumbo chair and landed on her belly beside it! If she can fling herself out of that and roll while all swaddled up, a sleep positioner isn't going to work for her! *sigh*

So, last night I put her down for bed without being swaddled. I am thankful for the pacifier, I think, but geez louise this girl had major trouble staying asleep!! I had to go in her room it seemed like 137 times last night to find her pacifier and put it back in her mouth or else she would cry and cry. Seriously I put her to bed a little after 8, and by midnight I had to intervene 7 times. I stopped counting at that point, but I KNOW she never made it more than one hour before crying out! It was usually more like 15-40 minute intervals!! Luckily I only had to nurse her 2x last night, and the rest of the time the pacifer was enough, and she would just go back to sleep! I just kept sleepwalking to her room to search her crib (and sometimes floor) for one of the 2 pacifiers I had in there while she wailed, and then quickly plugged her up, and walked back to bed in a sleepy daze. It felt like soon as I would hit the pillow she'd be crying again. I seriously hope she gets used to sleeping without the swaddle soon!!!!

And I must say if I didn't have tons of LOVE just oozing out of me for this girl, I'd have lost it. But I love her sooooo much, and when I look at that sweet face of hers and she gives me one of her huge smiles.....none of it matters. I just melt and realize this is just temporary!!