We're all still doing good!!

We have all been busy, but doing good!! Last week was another good week!

Ivy is still my "wild child" and will climb up onto anything she can. She keeps me on my toes that is for sure!! She is also becoming so smart and her sweet and affectionate personality shines through more and more each day!!



Zayden started sleeping in a toddler bed! He's done great! He has never gotten out on his own yet!! Even when he wakes up he just calls for me, like he used to when he was in his crib, and then he will climb out once I come in his room. Here he is his first night with many of his rescue heroes. He won't go to sleep unless he has a "bunch of them"!


Last Monday we went to the zoo, and had a wonderful time!! The weather was perfect, and there were no crowds. We were there ALL morning, and saw every animal there I think!! We even saw a little animal show, and Ivy made sure to get a front row seat.

After a busy morning checking out all the animals, we had to stop at the sprinkler park area to cool off. Both kids had a total blast here!! Ivy has no fear, and loved all the water spraying her! Here was a brief moment of her pausing before taking off for some more wet fun. And nope...I didn't bring their suits....bad mom!

Zayden did wear the right boots for the occasion.

They are playing together so much now, and it is awesome!! I think they will always be close!

We also were busy preparing for Z's first day of "school" last week. Actually it's Parent's Day Out, but we call it school. I got him a new Spiderman backpack and lunch pail. He wouldn't try the backpack on though until Ivy showed him it was okay.

He was excited but nervous his first day as he walked in....just like his mommy!!

His was super happy to find some rescue heroes upon entering, and ended up having a GREAT day there!! Ivy found the one and only ride toy as I dropped him off (of course).

I came back a little early to pick him up and got to see all the kids holding this rope as they walked out together to recess! :D It was so cute!! The teacher's said that Z did great!! They said he was very good all day, and even shared the found rescue heroes. He also according to them was the only one who sat still once, when they told all the kids to sit and wait for something!! Yay Z!! His teachers are Miss Shannon and Miss Holly....both are VERY nice!!

Friday we went to the indoor playgound in Zionsville, and met Alina, Fintan and Coen there! We had a great time with that as well. Ivy kept giving me kisses through this net, and then just was being silly!

Zayden finally figured out how to climb up to the top of everything by himself, and was able to go down the big slide by himself several times, which he loved. (Fintan also learned this new skill Friday too!!) That is Z at the top in the yellow bubble thing. :)

During the weekend, Brian took Zayden up to my in-law's lake house for a day. Zayden got to go to Indiana Beach and ride lots of rides, go on boat rides, and golf cart rides, and go fishing. He had a great time. Ivy spent the weekend with her mommy, and we also had a really nice weekend!! Saturday we went shopping, had lunch, and played at a park where I could just watch her!! Then after her nap, we went down to the canal downtown and took a nice long walk. It was a beautiful day!!

Sunday we played around the house most of the morning. Then we met my friend Kacey for lunch, and then went to the Trader's Point Creamery!! That was great. They had safari rides, which was a little bit more of an off road experience that I had expected taking my baby girl on!! Although, of course Ivy LOVED it and was literally bouncing up and down in my lap when the ride would get bumpy. :) Here is a picture of Ivy just running around exploring!

And a picture (too close up for my liking) of us while we were in the landrover on our ride. If you look closely you can see some cows behind us.
And then lastly just a cute picture of Ivy and bath time!!

D-Day!!

AKA Dairy Allergy testing Day (at our house)!!

Zayden has become completely aware and has full understanding of his dairy allergy now, especially since his baby sister CAN and does have dairy daily! He is sooo good though about not eating any dairy though even when everyone around him is eating/drinking it. He also talks about it all the time, and lately has been talking about getting tested for his allergy. He knew he grew out of his egg allergy and he was hoping to grow out of his dairy allergy too.

He was excited to go this morning, but then when we were driving there, he changed his mind and wanted to go home. He said he didn't like the doctor and didn't want to go. However, with some distraction we got there without any tears.

We go to Riley Hospital to see our Allergist, so we had to park in a garage near the hospital. Z never likes to walk, and I didn't feel like hauling the big double stroller. So, I brought my Mei Tai to wear Ivy. We parked, and I put Ivy in the Mei Tai (wearing her in front), and Z went in the small umbrella stroller I already had in my car.

We went in for our appointment, and it started a little shaky. Usually the nurses there are great and very sweet to Zayden. Today we had a nurse who was about as pleasant as a toddler going to the doctor's to get poked and prodded. Zayden got scared when we walked in to get weighed and all that, and started crying. He wouldn't get on the scale. I was trying to deal with him, and Ivy who was now in the stroller and getting upset all while the nurse was glaring at us. Zayden ended up having a huge meltdown fit, so I put him in a timeout. The nurse snapped at me that we had to hurry because the doctor would be waiting. She told me to pick him up and weigh myself with him and then without. During this whole time she was being very rude and so NOT kid friendly. I told her that Zayden was just scared, and she just looked annoyed. Ugh! I understand that not all people can understand and relate to a two/three year old and their fits, but this lady is a nurse at Riley CHILDREN'S hospital. I think someone needs a different job!! Anyway, nasty nurse marched off and told us to follow. So I try to keep up with her as I am pushing a stroller, carrying an oversized diaper bag, a scared toddler, and his shoes. Does she offer to help....um no. She just disappears. I finally find the room she went into, and walk in. She tells me the doctor will be in shortly and storms out. Luckily I didn't see her again, and everyone else was super nice to us all morning!!

Zayden played happily with his guys while we waited (which was several minutes...so much for having to rush), and Ivy and I looked at books. The doctor came in and talked to us. He was very sweet to Z, and they talked about super heroes, and all was good!!

Next a couple of other nurses came in to do the skin test on his back. They had to prick him 5 times. They wanted me to lay him on the table and hold him down, but I suggested I just hold him while they prick him, and they thought that would be fine. Z shed a couple of tears during the pricks, but recovered quickly and was ready to play right afterwards. We had to wait 15 minutes. I opened the door, and both kids decided to run up and down the hall while we waited. I let them, and they laughed and loved running around. I kept watching Z's back and I'm not an expert, but it was looking GOOD!!

After the 15 minutes the doctor came in and gave us the GREAT news!! The skin test was negative!! Zayden did not have ANY reaction to the milk or milk proteins!!!!! I was Ecstatic!! I'm still Ecstatic!! The previous 2 years he had very obvious reactions! The doctor said that we still had to get a blood test, and see what that says, and go from there. Basically it will be up to a month before we even get the results from the bloodtest, and if he does pass that too, then we have to have a dairy challenge, where he goes back and they give him dairy in a controlled environment to make sure he has no reaction. I asked the allergist if Z could have any dairy now, and he told me "NO! You have been doing so good, just don't let him have it a little longer, and if all goes well maybe he will be good for the holidays." I asked him if he could maybe even be cleared by Halloween so he could have his first Candybar, and doc said definitely if the rest of this process goes as well.

So, the doctor walked out, and I grabbed Zayden's hands and started jumping up and down and cheering!! I couldn't contain my joy nor did I want to! Zayden laughed at his silly mom and jumped a little too.

Finally, we had to go down for the bloodtest. I held Zayden in my lap while the Phlebotomist drew the blood. She was also sweet to Zayden. He cried for about a minute, and Z's very empathetic sister cried along with him!! When Z stopped crying, so did Ivy. They both got to pick out little toys, and we were ready to go home. Ivy was already in the stroller, so I threw Zayden up on my back in the Mei Tai which sure did get much attention. Zayden loved bouncing along on my back as we finally left the mean nurse, and all the poking and prodding!!

We got in the car, and he asked where we were going. I told him we were going home, and going to eat lunch. He asked what we would eat. I told him he could eat whatever he wanted, and asked what he wanted for lunch. He told me, "Dairy!" I laughed out loud and explained that he still couldn't have that today, but hopefully soon!! Hopefully VERY VERY soon!!!

Fingers still crossed, still praying, and sending out positive thoughts!!

Ivy 4 Wheelin'

Ivy has been climbing on Z's "jeep" whenever we are outside for awhile now. Well yesterday, she figured out that if she pushes the button it will move!!

We had a really good week!!

In my opinion this has been the best week we have had in a long time! I didn't have any job interviews or appointments with lawyers. The kids were healthy, and on my days off we were able to just hang out and enjoy each other!!

On Monday we went to the fair. We got there early before many things were even open, and stayed for a little over 3 hours. It was really fun....even if it was at times overwhelming and exhausting! We first checked out many of the animals in the barns.

Zayden was adamant about riding a pony, so we did that next! His pony's name was Starbucks, and he rode him all by himself, and really loved it. He later said it was his favorite part of the fair.

Ivy also rode a pony for the first time ever!! Her horse's name was Hank, but I wasn't about to step far away enough from Ivy to take a picture of the horse, but she also really enjoyed the pony ride.

Next we went to the Farm area, which was really fun! Z was totally into it, and Ivy just kind of wandered around following us. Zayden got to harvest vegetables and fruit, plant some "seeds", and then he took his produce to the market where he was given money. He then took his money to the store, and bought food for he and Ivy. It was great!!

Zayden also enjoyed milking a "cow"

And he LOVED feeding the goats. I tried to get Ivy to give a goat a carrot, but she tried to eat the carrot herself. ;)

Zayden also enjoyed climbing on all the big tractors! Luckily he has a very easy going sister who was happy to watch him enjoy himself!

He also rode a couple of the fair rides, and enjoyed that as well. We had a nice little lunch with some junk food and some healthier options, and I got my favorite....fried green tomatoes. It was a really great time!!

Then on Wednesday my friend Kristy and her daughter Addison came over to play. They even stayed for lunch, which was nice because I still do enjoy eating meals with adults on occasion! Here is a picture of Addison with my two.

In the evenings we usually go outside and play, and sometimes talk to some neighbors. One night when we were out I was chatting with a neighbor who was weedeating. She put her weedeater down, and Ivy decided it looked like a good ridetoy. She thinks everything is fun to ride. So, she got on. Z likes to do whatever Ivy does, so he got on too. Maybe next year they should have weedeaters to ride at the fair!

Friday was a beautiful day and we went to a park, and had a picnic there! Zayden loves picnics as much as his mama, and Ivy seems to really enjoy it too. We had a nice lunch, and then played for about an hour at the park. After that, we took a walk along some paths near the park. It was a great day!!

Ivy LOVES any thrill seeking activity she can find including slides!

And Zayden is also becoming quite the dare-devil, and climbing up all kinds of things that scare me....especially when he is wearing oversized crocs. He climbed up this thing several times, and it is so tall, that when he is on the top bar, I can't even reach him....it's way over my head. eek!

Besides all the fun activities with the kids, the week has been very good for me. I was offered several jobs, and accepted one! I am really happy with the new job I will have that I start on September 21st. I will not be working with kids anymore, but I think I am ready for a change anyway. I will be doing home health with adults. The company is going to provide me a company car and laptop as well!! Woo hoo!! Benefits are good, and although the salary is the lowest of all the companies that offered me a job, it is still enough that I can easily work just 4 days (32 hours) and live comfortably with my kiddos. So I am ecstatic that I will still have one day a week (besides the weekend) home with them! I chose this position because it will allow me to create my own schedule and be very very flexible!! I am really excited about that as well!!

And on another happy note, I have lost FIVE pounds this week. I know that is a lot in one week, but I promise I have been eating. I just have been eating like a normal person and not the emotional eater I was. I am a very emotional eater....always snack/binge when I am upset, stressed, nervous. Well, the past 3 years I have been very emotional so all that babyweight has stuck on me. Now for the first time in a long time I feel happy and much healthier, so I am not doing all the emotional eating. Maybe now I can finally lose all that baby weight!! I also have this application on my iPhone that I use to keep track of calories and exercise, and it ROCKS. I have to say that was the other reason for the weight loss this week!!

So, YES, it has been a good week. I hope we continue to have many many more like this!!!

Past Life Perhaps?

I often will talk to Zayden about things that happened in the past, and he also likes to talk about things from the past....but his past must have been past lives apparently. ;)

Months ago I told him that he used to be in my belly just like Ivy was. His response at the time, was that I used to be in his belly too! He has since told me a few times that I was once in his belly!

His most recent past life he talks about, is all the different places he has lived. Almost daily when we are drivng he will point to a building or a house, and tell me that he used to live there. I'll ask him when, and his answers vary. Sometimes he tells me when he was little, and sometimes he tells me when he was one. I'll ask him if I lived there too, and he tells me no.

Tonight was the funniest. I was rocking with him before putting him to sleep (as I do every night). This was our conversation:

Me: I used to rock you like this when you were a baby until you fell asleep.
Z: When I was big and you were a baby, I would rock YOU! *Thoughtful Pause* AND I was married to Ivy then.

iPhone

iPhone iPhone you help to make me not feel so alone.
After Brian and I went to see a lawyer Wednesday we went to the cell phone store to separate our accounts. As we waited we both discovered the iPhone. Neither of us probably should have splurged on these right now, but it sure did make us both feel better and take our minds off of our pending divorce.
I decided this was better than going home and eating a pan of brownies.
I love this thing and I'm actually using it to blog right now.
I couldn't even take pictures with my last phone, so this is a Huge change.
And the appointment with the lawyer went very well.
I will be divorced before the end of the year, but at least I have this new phone to keep me company! :-)

Shopping!

Zayden has adopted my love for shopping....garage sale shopping that is! ;) I have found A LOT of great deals lately, which I am very happy/proud of.

Today there was a community garage sale in a neighborhood close to ours. So, at 8:00 I packed the kids in the stroller and walked over. Z wasn't so excited at first. But I kind of bribed him into being good in the stroller by telling him we would be looking for rescue heroes at the garage sales, and if we were really lucky maybe we would find one....maybe even Bob Buoy!

Z then perked right up and was eager to go garage sale shopping. After all he LOVES his rescue heroes and for some reason has decided that the one he is missing and HAS to have is Bob Buoy. He tells me almost every day that he wants Bob Buoy for his birthday! There are probably about 50 different rescue heroes, so I don't know why Bob....but Bob it is.

The first sale we went to, Zayden immediately said to the seller, "We are looking for Bob Buoy!" I translated to them what he was talking about, but of course they didn't have rescue heroes. Those toys are old. Actually they told us they did have some at one time, but sold them years ago in a garage sale. They DID however have a couple Incredible guys from the movie Incredibles. We got them, and Z kept calling them his Incrediboys! ;)

Zayden was really excited once he got some Incrediboys! He then was eager and happy to go to every sale. I got him a couple other cheap things which he was thrilled about, and I think he would have gone garage sale shopping all day if I had let him, even though we weren't finding any rescue heroes.

It was getting late in the morning, and I thought we had gone to every house, so we started heading back to the house. I saw one more house we hadn't stopped at yet on our way home. It didn't look like they had much, but we decided to stop anyway. There was a large box of toys, and a sign saying everything in it was $1. I looked in there to see if there was anything good, and found a leapfrog toy that looked decent, and another game. Then at the bottom I spotted those big Rescue Hero feet. In shock I grabbed the sole guy and showed Zayden that I had found a rescue hero. Then to my SHOCK and to Zayden's apparent expectance I realized the ONE rescue hero at our last sale just in fact happen to be Bob Buoy!! I still can't believe it!!!

Thank you universe.....for throwing Z a bone today!! We needed that!!

Update....Feeling better every day.

First I wanted to thank everyone for the support and kind words I have received in the past 2 weeks! It has helped A LOT!

We are still moving forward with the divorce, but things are going pretty good all things considered. I think Brian and I are probably not handling things the conventional way, but I think the way we are doing things is best for the kids so far....in my opinion.

Brian comes over to 'my' house everyday to see the kids. I am fine with seeing him regularly. I honestly feel pretty emotinally detached from him. All his lies have caused me to fall out of love with him gradually. So having him around doesn't sting. Actually, it has been very helpful. Prior to our separation he didn't help much with the care of the kids, and really didn't even play with them a lot. Now, every time he comes over he is doing things with them!!! It has given me a chance to run errands or do things that need to be done around the house. That has actually been kind of great, honestly! I also took a new prn job offering PT a few times a week with adults doing homehealth....so I sometimes go visit a patient while he is here....making extra needed $$.

We have had some pretty good talks about how we want to handle things, and have come to agreements on almost everything. He wants the kids every other weekend, and 2 evenings during the week until 7. I agreed to that, but suggested for awhile he just gets them one day and night each weekend instead of 2 days/nights each weekend. I think 1 day away from them is all I can take right now....and I think that is all would be healthy for the kids just yet. He also agreed he won't take Ivy overnight for a little longer. (She still nurses in the middle of the night)
We also came to an agreement on the holidays which honestly was one of my biggest fears. At my suggestion he agreed to split trick or treat times on Halloween each year, and he agreed to the kids spending Christmas Eve with me until Christmas day at noon, and then he gets them at noon for the rest of the day!! I was ecstatic with that deal!!! I CANNOT be away from my kids EVER on Christmas.

He wants me to keep the house (which I bought and is still in just my name anyway) and all the things in it (which again is mostly things I bought before he and I were married). I'm going to give him a crib and dresser for Ivy's room for his place. We each plan to keep our own retirements, etc...

The only thing we may have issues with is child support. He is trying to get me to agree to letting him pay me less than he should. He IS selfish like that. I don't want more than what is fair though. In Indiana there is a formula that is used to determine a fair amount of child support. That is ALL I want, and not a cent more. Although even though we don't yet know what the exact number is he already is complaining about me "raking him over the coals". Ummmm....should have thought about all that before you screwed around buddy!

I have dove head first into searching for another job. This is a little sad for me, but needs to be done. I LOVE my current job. I currently work for a non-for-profit company working with children. I have been there 8 years, and loved almost every minute of it. The downside is that the pay is really bad for a physical therapist.....really bad. So, I am looking for another job that I can make quite a bit more money SO that I can still only work 4 days/week and get by. I have already talked to 2 companies that have thrown out numbers to me, and for them I would be making 12-16$/hour more than I currently do!!! No kidding! I had another job interview yesterday with a company that I think I could be very happy with. However, I'm not sure if they will offer enough money. I will hopefully know more next week. My fingers are crossed! I actually am talking to several companies and honestly think I will be given at least 3 job offers next week. I am SO grateful that I have a thriving career in this awful economy!

And on the legal side we have called a couple different law firms. We were going to see a mediator and get things written up that way, but Brian has a friend who has a friend who is a divorce lawyer, who apparently will help us with all the paperwork aspect if we are in agreement of everything which I think we are. I will just be happy when we can get past all the legal schmegal stuff, the divorce is final, and we can move on! I just have this fear that Brian will change his mind on some of the visitation stuff or something and crush me. I'll be happy when that is all set in stone!

Zayden is asking some hard questions and having moments of being sad. He says often that he wants daddy to still live with us. He has even said that he feels sad, and that his feelings are hurt because daddy doesn't live with us. :( I am just showering him with love. I also am getting several books for him and me on the subject for us to read, to help us get through this!!

Oh...and again with the unconventional....today I had a flat tire. Brian came over and changed the tire, took it to get repaired and put it back on....all is good as new now. He was going to take Z to a birthday party, but didn't have an age appropriate gift. I went through some new children's books I had (that had not ever even been opened yet), and gave him a couple along with a gift bag and tissue paper. Probably not typical behavior of a couple that decided to get divorced 2 weeks ago. However, I think this is great for our kids that we can and will be friends!

Some good moments!

Life is a little on the rough side right now, but we are all still having some really nice moments too. And honestly things are going okay with the separation/divorce as well. I am feeling happier and more confident with my decision every day. Once child visitation/support is worked out I will be able to relax and move on with my life dedicating it to my favorite little people!!

Here are some moments I have enjoyed in the last few days:

Zayden has been really really clingy to me lately. He even tells me and others that I am the only one he loves! Now when I drop him off at the in-laws before work he will want me to hold him for awhile (this was going on before the separation too), and won't want me to leave. I have told my in-laws once, in front of Z, when he was behaving like this that Zayden was "Mamafied". Which is a word I made up since I like to do that. When I said it, my in-laws looked confused, like they didn't know what I was talking about. Anyway a couple of days ago Zayden, Ivy and I were playing in the living room together and Z kept coming over for hugs and kisses. He then looked at me and said, "I'm mamafied!" I'm so happy my son speaks my language!

A few days ago I was reading a book to Ivy called "Babies" or something like that. Each page has a picture of a baby, and reads, "Baby needs hugs" or baby needs kisses, baby needs bottles, etc.... Anyway as I was reading it to her Z yells from across the room, "Baby needs to be hit. Baby needs to eat poop."
Then yesterday I was reading it to Ivy again, and Z runs over and points at a baby and says, "That baby needs to be hit" he then turns the page points at 2 babies hugging and says, "Those 2 babies also need to be hit." It has been soooo hard not to laugh at those comments!!

Yesterday we went to a horse show with friends which was fun. Both kids loved it. Ivy got super excited and started screaming loudly what I believe was "WOW!!" over and over and over again until everyone was staring at us! ;)

Ivy now wiggles her toes every time I say "toes" and I LOVE that!!

Yesterday I was giving the kids a bath and they started splashing, which is common. However, yesterday they SPLASHED!! They were both laughing hysterically and splashing like crazy! The floor was soaked, I was soaked, they were swallowing water and not caring. Well, and I was laughing a lot too. It was such a happy fun moment for all of us. Those are the moments I want to hang on to!