They did do some things right!

(This post was written on Labor Day, but then my internet stopped working before I could publish it.)

If I am talking about my parents, I usually don't have many nice things to say sadly. They are both very dysfunctional people who were very dysfunctional parents. They are alcoholic drug users, who were stoned or drunk much of my childhood. They stole my babysitting money, and when they wanted to get high they would send me to my room and tell me if I came out I'd be grounded..................

My dad kind of disappeared when I was 14/15 when he was heavy into Cocaine, and my mom divorced him. Then my mom went off the deep end when I was 16 and completely abandoned me. I can count on one hand how many times I have seen her since. She is not involved at all with my brother or I other than an occasional e-mail or birthday card. I have a 15 year old niece (her granddaughter) she still has never met.

My dad and I have an okay relationship now. He lives in Florida and we see each other 1 or 2 times a year when I go there to visit my Oma (grandmother). He has been here once in the last few years. He is NOT a very involved grandfather.

Luckily for my kids my in-laws are great grandparents!!



So, yes I am a tad bitter toward my parents. However, I know they are not "bad" people, and I believe that they do have good hearts buried somewhere. I do have many good memories of them also. I do think part of who I am today is because of them and not all of it is in spite of them.



Today reminded me of one example of the "good" in them. It is labor day. Do you know what Labor Day means to me? For me it has always been the day that the Jerry Lewis/MDA telethon is on. It's the day that I watch the telethon, cry, and make a donation, and then cry some more and think of calling again to send more money. When my brother and I were kids, my parents would have us walk through our neighborhood with a coffee can to collect money for the telethon. They they would drive us to a local news station, and we would put all of our money in a "fish bowl". We always loved doing this and felt a sense of pride helping others! I am really thankful that my "screwed" up parents gave us THAT. They couldn't have been all bad, right? Definitely not! Today as I was remembering, I felt nostalgic and thankful for them, which are not the most common feelings I have towards them. I called my dad and thanked him for giving me that experience, and instilling those type of values in me. I also even sent my mom a short e-mail (sadly I don't even have her phone number).

Several months ago I read the book, "The Glass Castle", and I loved it SOOO much!! So much!! I did not have near the troubled childhood Jeannette had, but I had my fair share of bad experiences growing up. Prior to reading this book, I often looked back at my childhood with fond memories, but also anger about how I was raised and the type of parents I had.

I was so moved by Jeannette's attitude towards her parents and her childhood. She described her situation as if she was still back in the moment without any resentment, but from the viewpoint she had as a child. There was not bitterness and anger. She actually loved and appreciated much about her childhood and parents. As awful as her parents could be at times, I still kind of liked them.

It made me look at my childhood and parents differently too. Now when I look back at those times I try to see the positives and the good that my parents did and the good that they were/are. I wasn't a miserable unhappy child. I was a very happy child. They must have done something right! Actually I think they did many things right, and the MDA is just a reminder to me of one of the many things they did right.