3rd Birthday Pictures!

Here's pictures of Zayden's Third birthday!! The pictures aren't the best quality, since I took them all with my iPhone, but the memories were of the best quality!!!


When he first woke up I had one of his gifts sitting out for him. A pirate ship with some pirates:

Birthday panCakes! :

Conner Praire. We spotted Donkeys right away:

Of course Z had to get into character at some point:

Learning to play the guitar:

My favorite shot. We went up to the fence where this horse was. The horse was about 15 yards away, but then ran over to us, and let us pet her for a long time!!

Z loved all the chickens and chicks:

and all the other animals, like the goats:

and sheep. When he wasn't hugging and petting them, he was brushing them:

Here is American Indian Zayden rowing a boat:

Hard at work:

After about 5 hours of walking outside around the grounds, we went inside to the play area which was also very cool. Z dressed up like a farmer and milked a cow, did some gardening, harvesting, and selling at the market:

Exhausted after we left. Notice he fell asleep while playing with his new pirates:

Went to Chuck E Chees, and Z likes Chuck E now:

Finishing off the day with cake and presents at grandma and grandpa's house:

It was a GREAT day!! Zayden may all your wishes come true!!!

Good-bye dream job!

I just left my dream job for the last time. I am now pulled over in a parking lot because crying while driving isn't very safe.
When I applied for this job and was hired I told everyone it was my "dream job", and it really has been.
Now I am forced to leave because I am now a single mother who needs to make more money to provide for her kids.
I know this is my best option right now, but I am sooo sad. I'm realy really going to miss working with children.

Zayden's birthday, life as a single mom, and changing jobs.

I haven't had a chance to blog as much lately. Partly because I am having internet issues, and partly because I am now a single mom. I don't have much time, and when I am do I am too exhausted to get on-line and write. However, today while I have a moment I wanted to update.

Zayden had a GREAT third birthday!! GREAT! I hope to share pictures from his day later. His birthday was on a Tuesday, which is a day I typically work. However, I took the day off work. I sent Ivy over to the in-laws as usual, and Zayden and I had our own special day together! I had never been to Conner Prairie, and neither had Zayden, so I thought that would be a cool place to go. Initially I had hoped we could go on the hot air balloon ride, and that is the main reason I wanted to go there. However, even though it didn't rain a drop the entire day, there were storms in the vicinity. They have a policy of not doing the rides if there is storms within 50 miles.
I was disappointed, but since we were already there I thought we'd check out everything else. Wow!! I'm so glad we did. We seriously had the BEST time. It was honestly one of the best days of my life....as corny as that sounds it's true.
Conner Prairie is a very cool place, but what made the day so special was being able to have that alone time with Zayden for an entire day....something we dont' get to do anymore. AND being able to experience everything there through his 3 year old eyes and soul.
Zayden LOVED all the animals. He got to pet, hug, chase, hold, and brush: donkeys, goats, chickens, baby chicks, sheep, cows, horses, etc... There were animals everywhere, and they were not pinned up.
We also got to walk through all the old buildings and homes from the 1800's and meet the people living at that time. We got to watch and help a candlemaker make candles, watch a blacksmith make metal hangers for shutters, watch someone making pottery, etc.. We met and talked to teachers, doctors, cooks, etc... from the 1800's and Zayden loved every second of it!! The people who worked there were totally into character!! :D
After spending 6 hours there, we went to Chuck E Cheese for dinner and met Ivy, his dad, and his grandparents. That was fun too. Then we went back to my in-laws for Cake and presents. Z espeically loved all the Rescue Heroes, and Knights he got from his mama. It was a great, great day!!

All our days have been pretty good, and I think I am adjusting to this single mom thing pretty well. We are keeping very busy and I am proud of myself for all the activites we are still doing. I took them by myself to a baseball game, and to parties. I even took them to a pool party, and played in the pool with both of them by myself. There is always a little stress with taking them out by myself, but it usually works out and we all end up having a great time!!

As I type this I am sitting in my office at Crossroads. I am about to leave....leave for the last time. Today is my last day and I have just cleaned out everything, and completed all paperwork. It is bittersweet. There is part of me that is ready for a change, but another part of me that is really really sad!! I have been here for 8+ years. I love it here! This is a GREAT company, and I am so lucky I had all the experiences I have had here. Maybe some day when I have more time I will blog more about that. ;)

I will end this with sharing a couple cards I received from one of my favorite kids, David, who I have been working with for about 6-7 years. David made me a personal card, and so did his grandparents. They both made me cry...along with the gifts they gave me.

Here is what was written in the car from David:

"If we hadn't become so close, it wouldn't be so hard to say good-bye...Still, I wouldn't trade our experiences together for anything. I'm glad I got to know you. You're my friend.
I don't think I would be able to do a lot of things I can, if it wasn't for you. Thank you!!!
I'm glad you were my Physical Therapist. You have helped me in more ways than I can say. You have helped me be the person I am today. I will miss you and our time together. (I know I will get to see you and talk to you again, but it won't be the same.) I'm really going to miss you.
Love, David"

And from his grandparents:

"Thank You Dawn
It Means a lot to have a Physical Therapist who is as gifted and as caring as you are... Hope you know how much you are appreciated.
Dawn, We want to thank you for every thing you have done for David. Over the years since you have been working with him, we have seen a big difference, and we know that most of it is due to you. You might say it is just your job, but we feel like You go far and beyond what you have to. You give all of yourself to make David a better person, not only physical, but the way you make him feel. You are a wonderful person and we will miss you very much. Good Luck with your new employment. Again we want to say thanks for all you have done and the extra time you have spent watching baseball, wrestling, and everything else. You are truly a wonderful and caring person.
Thanks Sharron and Larry"

*sniff sniff* I am going to miss "my" kids!!

A couple Zayden funnies from today!

I picked him up from school today. He got in the car, and immediately started playing with the guys he had left in there. I started asking him all about his day, but he wouldn't talk to me. :( I was sad that he wouldn't tell me about his day.

Me: Zayden, why won't you tell me about your day?
Z: Because.....it is a surprise!
Me: *chuckle* A surprise?!
Z: Yes, it's a surprise, so I can't tell you about my day.

And he never did tell me anything about it. humpf!

I put him down for a nap when we got home, and he was calling for me. I kept hearing, "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy"! I ignored him because I knew he didn't need anything. He does this all the time, and then thinks of a question once I get to his room. Anyway, after a couple of minutes he yelled, "MOMMY McCLIMON!!!!" I took notice, and went it to see what he wanted....it was nothing important. ;)

Tonight, when I put him to bed he did the same routine of calling me over and over again. I went to see what he wanted...

Me: What do you need sweetie?
Z: I need a *long pause* candle!
Me: A candle? *chuckle* Why do you need a candle?
Z: Because *long pause* I love you! I need a candle because I love you!

Happy Happy Birthday My little Z Man!!

I will eventuall blog about the wonderful day Zayden and I had yesterday celebrating his birthday, and I also want to blog about the great weekend we had last weekend. BUT first I am going to write out 103 things I love about my little guy.

Zayden I love.........

1. that you want to wear those green boots everywhere.
2. that you like it when the boots are on the wrong feet.
3. that you think you look really cool in those boots, and strut around when you first put them on.
4. your quirky personality.
5. the funny things you say All. The. Time.
6. your laugh
7. Your dimple in your right cheek
8. Your dimple just below your bottom lip on the left side that is only seen when you smile really big.
9. Your beautiful dark brown eyes.
10. Those eyelashes!
11. The way you love to play with your "guys" all. the. time.
12. How quickly you learn things.
13. Your awesome memory. Just the other day you told me the name of a neighbor that I had forgotten.
14. your laugh.
15. The way you dance with a serious look on your face.
16. How I can always make you smile even if you are in a really bad mood, if I tell you that I want to kiss your dimple.
17. Your love for books.
18. How every night we rock for a few minutes before I tuck you in.
19. tucking you in every night, and smothering you with kisses.
20. How when you wake up the first thing you do is gather up all the guys you went to bed with, so that you can take them in the living room.
21. that when you first wake up you want me to hold you for a few minutes, and we just snuggle.
22. that you don't want me to ever go to work. I'm sad to leave you, but happy to be wanted.
23. the special bond that we have that is sooo strong an like no other.
24. how you want to put ketchup on everything!
25. that you love dressing up!!!
26. how you are always full of surprises.
27. your huge vocabulary that shocks me at times.
28. how you share your toys with Ivy, but make sure to give her your least favorite guys. ;)
29. how you really like to have Ivy around!
30. The way you play with Ivy.
32. When you give your baby sister a hug or kiss.
33. When you give me a hug!!
34. When I get kisses.
35. When we do nosey nosey nosey
36. How when you are playing pretend sometimes you get so excited and start talking nonsense and making up words.
37. How you love to play pretend.
38. The way you run!
39. The way you jump!
40. Your thick hair that grows so quickly.
41. Your interest in so many things.
42. How tolerant you are of your dairy allergy.
43. How knowledgeable you are about your dairy allergy. I think at this point I could send you to a home alone, and even if the people there didn't know about your allergy you would let them know and YOU would make sure you did not eat dairy.
44. the fact that you seem to be growing out of your dairy allergy.
45. how you want the door shut and to be alone when you have to poop.
46. how I am your favorite person by far. (shhh this is a secret between the 2 of us)
47. how great you play with other kids sometimes. ;)
48. how you love to play with other kids!
49. how well you sleep at night, and even now in your big boy bed!
50. that you were sooo easy to potty train!
51. that you love animals.
52. that you love to be outside.
53. that you are so smart!!
54. that I see soooo much potential in you!! You can and will be anything you want!!
55. that you have a kind soul.
56. that you are the cutest boy I have ever seen!
57. the way you fill in all the words if I pause when we are reading a story (and you have been doing this for over a year).
58. how you love nursery rhymes.
59. that you have a close relationship with your grandparents!
60. that you are cautious at times.
61. and that other times you are my wild man seeking an adventure.
62. how when you see Ivy do something she shouldn't you do it too, thinking you might be able to get away with it. I get aggravated, but inside I am laughing.
63. that yesterday you told me that you didn't think I EVER got mad! You thought I was always happy!! That was one huge compliment.....even if it wasn't true. ;)
64. how you stay in your time out chair if you are in time out.
65. that your behavior is pretty good most of the time.
66. that I can take you out in public without fear of major meltdowns!
67. the conversations we have in the car.
68. Playing guys with you!!!
69. Wrestling with you.
70. Talking at night as we are rocking.
71. How you have certain things you always say now when we do the "3 Things" at dinner time. You say the thing that made you laugh was daddy singing a song, the thing that you learned was that bugs eat grass, and the thing that you saw was beautiful was your family.
72. and the way you say, "My Family" with the sheepish grin when we say our 3 things.
73. the way you "smile" for the camera now and kind of look like Billy Idol.
74. that you still want me to do a lot of things for you!
75. how if we are having hamburgers or hotdogs you are always very excited, but you wants yours without the MEAT. ;)
76. how well you climb on playground equipment!
77. that you don't care how everyone else does something, you will do it YOUR way!
78. how you treat me like a jungle gym.
79. that you would be happy to sit and watch TV all day, but rarely ask me to watch it anymore.
80. how well you play by yourself.
81. Your HUGE imagination!! Huge!
82. secretly how you bite your fingernails so I don't have to trim them. (sorry)
83. your skinny little legs.
84. how awesome you look when you show us your muscles! ;)
85. how much you care about others.
86. how brave you are.
87. how you are really into scary things like skeletons and monsters.
88. when you talk like a pirate.
89. your belief in magical things like Santa.
90. the way you help me cook.
91. your sense of awe.
92. how you take off running down the sidewalk when we go outside.
93. the way you sill like to be held and carried.
94. reading to you before you go to bed, and how you always ask for "just one more".
95. how inquisitive you are. I think you ask me at least 100 questions each day. ;)
96. hearing about your day when I pick you up from you!
97. when you look up at the clouds and tell me what you think a cloud looks like, and how you often spot crocodiles in the clouds.
98. that we both love polar bears!
99. your great sense of humor!
100. That you are overall a very happy child!
101. That you bring me joy EVERY SINGLE DAY!
102. that you are healthy!!!
103. that you are mine! Mine, all mine!

They did do some things right!

(This post was written on Labor Day, but then my internet stopped working before I could publish it.)

If I am talking about my parents, I usually don't have many nice things to say sadly. They are both very dysfunctional people who were very dysfunctional parents. They are alcoholic drug users, who were stoned or drunk much of my childhood. They stole my babysitting money, and when they wanted to get high they would send me to my room and tell me if I came out I'd be grounded..................

My dad kind of disappeared when I was 14/15 when he was heavy into Cocaine, and my mom divorced him. Then my mom went off the deep end when I was 16 and completely abandoned me. I can count on one hand how many times I have seen her since. She is not involved at all with my brother or I other than an occasional e-mail or birthday card. I have a 15 year old niece (her granddaughter) she still has never met.

My dad and I have an okay relationship now. He lives in Florida and we see each other 1 or 2 times a year when I go there to visit my Oma (grandmother). He has been here once in the last few years. He is NOT a very involved grandfather.

Luckily for my kids my in-laws are great grandparents!!



So, yes I am a tad bitter toward my parents. However, I know they are not "bad" people, and I believe that they do have good hearts buried somewhere. I do have many good memories of them also. I do think part of who I am today is because of them and not all of it is in spite of them.



Today reminded me of one example of the "good" in them. It is labor day. Do you know what Labor Day means to me? For me it has always been the day that the Jerry Lewis/MDA telethon is on. It's the day that I watch the telethon, cry, and make a donation, and then cry some more and think of calling again to send more money. When my brother and I were kids, my parents would have us walk through our neighborhood with a coffee can to collect money for the telethon. They they would drive us to a local news station, and we would put all of our money in a "fish bowl". We always loved doing this and felt a sense of pride helping others! I am really thankful that my "screwed" up parents gave us THAT. They couldn't have been all bad, right? Definitely not! Today as I was remembering, I felt nostalgic and thankful for them, which are not the most common feelings I have towards them. I called my dad and thanked him for giving me that experience, and instilling those type of values in me. I also even sent my mom a short e-mail (sadly I don't even have her phone number).

Several months ago I read the book, "The Glass Castle", and I loved it SOOO much!! So much!! I did not have near the troubled childhood Jeannette had, but I had my fair share of bad experiences growing up. Prior to reading this book, I often looked back at my childhood with fond memories, but also anger about how I was raised and the type of parents I had.

I was so moved by Jeannette's attitude towards her parents and her childhood. She described her situation as if she was still back in the moment without any resentment, but from the viewpoint she had as a child. There was not bitterness and anger. She actually loved and appreciated much about her childhood and parents. As awful as her parents could be at times, I still kind of liked them.

It made me look at my childhood and parents differently too. Now when I look back at those times I try to see the positives and the good that my parents did and the good that they were/are. I wasn't a miserable unhappy child. I was a very happy child. They must have done something right! Actually I think they did many things right, and the MDA is just a reminder to me of one of the many things they did right.

First weeks of School

Zayden had his 2nd day of "school" today! He seems to be doing really well with it. The teachers have raved about him both times when I picked him up. Maybe they are supposed to do that! ;)
Last week one of the teachers said at one point they asked all the kids to sit and wait for something, and that Zayden was the only one of the 12 to sit still the whole time waiting! :D They also said that he shared well with the other kids. (Really??)

Today when I picked him up they told me that he did great in music class. They said he particpated a lot with the songs and dancing! They said he was just really good all day. Then as we were walking out one of the teachers kind of walked me out to the hall, and said, "He's been a really good kid.....He's just a REALLY good kid!!" *Beaming with pride*

Let's hope the good behavior continues, and he doesn't show them too much of his other side. ;) I think as a mom you love to hear others compliment your kids. It is nice to hear that they are cute, smart, funny, etc... However, for me my goal is that people will always tell me that my children are "good", "kind", "caring", "sweet", etc... If I can hear those type of compliments about my children than I will feel like I am doing my job!

Now here are some things Zayden has said to me about his days at school:

"I played with the kid with a tag on his shirt"

"We hold onto these necklace things when we walk to music class. We are not allowed to hold onto the rope." (There is a rope with rubber rings they hold onto)

"Maybe when I get big I can be the leader"

"The big Addison pushed me down in the dirt. I got up and pushed her back. The teacher put Addison in timeout, but didn't do anything to me."

"I got a stamp for being good to the other kids. They didn't put in on my hand though. They put it on my arm."

"The big Addison didn't get a stamp."

"Boogy on Down Mommy........The teacher said 'Boogy on Down'"

"The other kids didn't want to play with me. They wanted to play with other toys." (That one made me sad)

"I didn't like my raisins. I don't like raisins anymore."