Today is the day for catch up blogging! :)
Brian and Zayden just left for Brian's work picnic that is on the other side of town. Brian never asked me if I wanted to go. He just assumed I didn't want to, and told me that he was taking Zayden. I told him that it bothered me that he wouldn't ask me to go with him, and he told me he honestly didn't think I would want to go. He then said that he wants to stay for a few hours. He said I am welcome to come, but he doesn't want to leave after just an hour. I then told him that I wouldn't go then, because I couldn't guarantee how long Ivy would last. If she was super fussy, I wouldn't want to stay more than an hour. He said okay, fine and he got him and Z ready and they left. He has no idea that I am still bothered by this. I'll probably tell him tonight.
What bothers me is that he isn't the guy who puts me or his entire family first. He doesn't say/think, "I really want my wife to join me, as well as my daughter. Hopefully Ivy will be in a great mood, and we can spend the afternoon there. But, if she is not then we will all come home as a family!". Instead he is that guy that thinks, "I want to have fun today, and if my wife and daughter might get in my way than I better go by myself or just take the easy kid!". It seems like I have so many friends who have those husbands that would have thought the first way. I actually had tears in my eyes after the boys told me bye, and I sat there rocking my baby to sleep.
And it's not like this is the only time this kind of thing has happened. It happens a lot!! I am never put first or even second in his life. I've been asking him to do a couple things around the house for weeks. They have not got done. However, today he noticed a neighbor having trouble with his garage door. So, Brian went over and after an hour or so had it fixed for him. Brian than came home all proud telling me about it. I think that is great. I love that Brian is that type of guy who is first to help anyone and everyone with stuff.....but what about me. Why doesn't he see that I need help and attention too.
Okay...done with the pouting!
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2 comments:
That sucks. It sounds to me like he doesn't realize how much those things matter to you and how it feels for you (the things you'd like him to do around the house, etc). I'm not sure how to change that. I hope tonight goes well.
That really stinks, Dawn. I do have to say that Pat has done the same sort of thing in the past when he didn't think I'd want to go somewhere. Usually I didn't, but I still wanted him to ask. Silly, I know. He should definitely be putting you girls first! It is nice that he's so helpful to other people but it stinks you have to put your foot down so hard for him to get things done for you. Have you sat down with him and told him how much you admire him for doing things for friends but that you really need help, too? It's definitely always easier to let things slide in your own life and help everyone else. Helping others makes you feel good. Doing things at home is hard and not as satisfying because soon enough they always just need to be done again...
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